Posting it today without proofing it. Please ignore typos, if you find any. 🙂 Enjoy the sizzle and don’t forget to like and comment! 🙂
Arnav leaned in as Khushi placed her lips on his own. Khushi felt him quiver as he joined in, softly stroking his lips over hers, easing their positions and taking them both into a kiss that was thrilling to say the least. It was pure seduction. She opened her heart and body to the sensations being caused by this kiss, the intoxication of their kiss, the heat that spread to all parts of her body like smooth liqueur. Her mind boggled at the idea; a kiss was causing so much havoc on her senses, his tongue slowly slipping inside her mouth and tasting her. He went slow, as if allowing her the freedom to break off yet kissed her with exquisiteness that was wordless in nature. Khushi felt as if she was dancing, their lips performing to the play of erotic music playing in their hearts.
She opened her mouth wider, answering his need to explore her mouth further while she made an exploration of his mouth on her own, joining this two-step dance. She felt the shivers of desire, sweet and fiery running through her being, making her lift her toes up to reach his mouth properly. Together they shaped their mouths to each other’s, lost in each other.
Arnav lifted his head after what seemed like an eternity and slipped his hands slowly, to caress her shoulders, barely skimming over the breasts and finally settled on the belt of her dressing gown. He groaned when he let the belt of her dressing gown loose.
“You’re not wearing anything underneath! You sleep in the nude?”
Khushi gulped, swallowed, “It was too hot and I wanted cool sheets against my body.”
Arnav laughed softly, “For all your shyness Khushi Kumari Gupta, you don’t realise yet that you’re a sensualist. I’m glad for this since I myself love the foreplay before love making. Our senses need the release much before our body, hmm?”
His amber eyes caught fire as he bit on her ear lobe and whispered in her ear, making goose bumps erupt all over her body, “ I want to see you Khushi. My eyes want to join this feast that the hands and body are enjoying. Will you-?”
In reply, Khushi curled her hand around the sprinkles of hair on his chest and bent down to kiss the area just below his shoulder, making him shudder in response. “Yes.”
Her breath caught in her throat as she felt him slide the dressing gown off her body, his hands still by her waist. The fabric slowly slid down her body, finally pooling at her feet. Khushi was now completely naked in front of him, in the dark, with her heart racing and her pulses galloping. Her legs trembled. Had it not been for Arnav’s hands on her waist, she may have fallen down.
Arnav stroked her cheek with one hand, then slowly traced the path from her cheek to her throat and across her breasts. Khushi let herself go back on his other arm and his hand continued with its exploration. Slowly it crossed over her breasts, skimming on her already tight bud nipples, trailing down her waist and hips, as if on a path to exploration. Then slowly it moved up again, this time cupping one breast, feeling its weight in his hand and brushing his thumb over her light coloured, tight nipple. Khushi moaned his name softly.
He whispered, “You are so beautiful Khushi. I could look at you for ever. I could touch you all the time. Lord, how did I ever control myself around you!”
Khushi’s blood hummed with heat; the heat of arousal. He bent his head and kissed her breasts, first one and then the other, his tongue at first stroking gently and then, lapping up. As if he couldn’t control his hunger any more, he enveloped her nipples one by one into the dark, hot cavern of his mouth and sucked on them hard.
Khushi clutched at his head, his hair as if she’d been electrocuted by live wire. She steadied herself with her hands on his shoulders as he continued his assault on her senses, repeatedly saying her name. He looked up, straight into her eyes and said,
“Are you sure Khushi? I will not be able to stop if we don’t—“
Khushi put a finger on his lips, her eyes smouldering, “I think we should go inside.” She shivered in his arms, “I feel too exposed standing out here, in the cool air.”
Arnav looked into her eyes and straightened up. “You’re right.” Just then cool breeze stirred the lock of his hair that fell across his forehead. Khushi’s hands smoothed the lock. “I’d always wanted to do that.” She said, her eyes alight with laughter.
Arnav laughed softly, “You minx.” He kissed her quickly on her lips once and then lifted her up in his arms. He was so strong! He picked her up as if she weighed nothing. She revelled in the sensations he created in her body, her heart. It caught her close to his chest as if she was his precious cargo and he’d never let her go. Khushi would her arms around his neck, nuzzling it.
“Khushi, behave yourself or I will not be responsible. Right now, I am exerting great control so that we may reach the bedroom at least. I also need to pick something up from my bedroom.”
“What?” Khushi asked as he moved ahead, his strides quick and confident. He went into his bedroom and the drawer of his table, taking out some packets. Khushi coloured as she reached what they were. Condoms.
“We need to be safe, eh?” Arnav looked at her, delighted to see her blushing and kissed her, “I can make love to you right here. Do you mind?”
Khushi looked at him and shyly said, “I want us to go into my bedroom, if that’s alright with you.”
Arnav groaned and said, “Torturing minx! Why not here?”
“-because my room is filled with moonlight Mr Raizada. Take me there.”
He shuddered as she spoke, kissing his mouth impulsively. Khushi loved this power she had over him. She had no idea before of how vulnerable he was to her touch. Was this what they called physical power of attraction over another person? If that was the case, she liked it very much; especially overpowering Arnav and making him need her so much. She grinned and slid her hand down over his chest, his chest hair tickling her palm. Slowly she turned her mouth towards his ear and whispered in it, “I want to see you too Arnav.”
He gave a mock growl in reply that was accompanied by his crooked smile, “As you wish Miss Gupta.”
They reached her bedroom that was filled with moonlight. She had left the curtains of her window open, giving them a view of the dark sea not too far away.
He laid her on the bed and went back to the door, locking it. “No one will disturb us even in the morning if we want now.” He grinned as he turned the key into lock while Khushi raised her eyebrows.
“This is your house, right? What’s the big need to lock the door?”
“Mrs De’Souza comes early to clean the house and make breakfast, so I must ensure we don’t get disturbed. Just in case, you know.”
Khushi grinned as she lay on the bed, one elbow supporting her head as she leaned on it. “SO?”
Arnav became brazen then, his amber eyes on fire, and making Khushi quiver on the bed. She watched nervously now, as he slowly reached to the zipper of his jeans. She turned red as she realised, he wore no shorts, no briefs underneath. He lowered his zipper so slow that Khushi felt she’d explode with desire building up inside her. Looking at her, he took them off and tossed them on the chair by the writing desk. Her mouth went dry as she watched him come to her, naked, all male. He tossed the packets on to the bedside table and reached for her.
She stared at him, her mouth hanging open, her cheeks red and her desire burning on a high flame. She felt naïve and totally unprepared now that he was ready to take things further. Panic flared in her mind even as her body craved fulfilment. It was all right to talk about being bold and moving on with what you want but was she really that brave? It looked as if her shyness had found a way back into her as she wondered what to do next.
Arnav came up to her and then smiled, “Khushi, had you ever seen a naked man before?”
Khushi tried to find her voice but failed. She simply shook her head, acknowledging her innocence and ignorance. Arnav’s eyes grew tender as she sat on the edge of the bed. Slowly he took her hand in his and looked into her eyes, “I am glad.”
Khushi looked at him, her eyes wide, “You are?”
Arnav slowly moved her hair away from her shoulder as he said softly, “Call me old fashioned or a hypocrite but I am glad I’ll be your first lover.” Feeling her tremble, his voice grew husky, “I want to be your only lover Khushi.”
Khushi closed her eyes as sensations took precedence and all thoughts flew out of the window. She shifted a little to give him more room. He lay down now, turning on her side, drawing her against him. Khushi felt her whole body burn as she felt skin touching skin, his naked body against hers. She nestled her face by his shoulder and breathed in his scent, this closeness intoxicating her senses, giving her a feeling of being drunk. She was drunk- drunk on passion.
“Tell me what you like about this situation, with us together, skin against skin.” Arnav asked her. Khushi blushed fiery red at his question. Arnav raised one eyebrow, “Is this the same girl who can talk nineteen to a dozen about each situation and is yet shying away from talking about her feelings today?” His fingers danced on her skin, moving around her neck and then her back.
“I’m not shy!” Khushi looked up, indignant into his eyes and then dropped her own, “I’m-I-don’t know what you mean by it.”
Arnav caught her chin in his hand and looked at her, a smile evident on his face, “I mean Miss Khushi Kumari Gupta that you’re a girl with vivid imagination. Even if you haven’t been with a man before, you’d sure have imagined it like all other girls who dream of romance. What were your preferences in your imagination, what did you think would please you the most?” He leaned and kissed her on the lips, saying against them, “I want to do everything as you like.”
Khushi looked at him, shedding a bit of her shyness. “Er- I never had to talk about it to anyone before, not even Payal jiji. I j-just don’t know how to talk about it.”
Arnav caressed her hair, moving all of it to one side and kissing her shoulder, “Ah, my darling. I’ll just have to be a little more patient then, isn’t it?” He gave a mock sigh, “Now I will have to wait until you’re ready and know what you want. Damn.”
He made to leave but Khushi caught his hand, surprise plain in her eyes, “You’d –y-you’d leave me now?”
Arnav looked at her, his eyes puzzled, “You don’t know what you want. What if you regret it tomorrow Khushi?”
Khushi could feel frustration mounting in her body. She knew she only knew about love making from books but what the hell! She wanted him to play with her, show her how good it could be. His hands and mouth had already set her body on fire and she was sure she wanted more of it; a lot more. He stroked her body as if it was a guitar, with each touch feeling as if her strings were being pulled, she felt a new song being created in her body. His hands set her on fire, tantalising her. But if he left her now–
“Oh for the love—come here you!” She pulled him back on the bed as he was half in-half out of it. “I don’t know what pleases me in bed Arnav Singh Raizada! So do what you know that will please me, understand?”
“Yes Miss Gupta.” Arnav said mock-seriously, laughter lurking in his eyes and proceeded to show her in detail exactly how he’d please her.
Khushi loved his muscled body, the hardness of his body a right support for her softness, the way his warm skin smelled, the way he tasted her and encouraged her to taste him. He tasted of hot passion, of things that were prior to this forbidden. She loved to hear the sound of his ragged breathing when she kissed his chest, his soft growl betraying his neediness when she kissed his stomach; his responses to her touch. Her body moved along with his, their breathing laboured as wild abandon took hold of them. The tension between the bodies grew, kisses growing deeper, stronger, more erotic than before. His fingers played with her body, creating exquisite torture until she tugged at his shoulders, raising her hips to him. “Please… oh Arnav please!” she whispered. “I can’t—“She drew a ragged breath as his lips passed her navel and below to breathe on the place that was spitting fire.
She moaned loud when his lips touched her mound and held his head tight when he kissed her there. Her cries of ecstasy grew louder as he mercilessly licked her, kissed her, sucked on the essence of her. His hand came down to caress her along with his mouth. Gently he inserted a finger inside her and Khushi almost jumped off the bed.
“OH MY GOD! ARNAV!” She screamed as she felt her release bursting out of her.
“Yes Khushi, let yourself go. I’ve got you honey, let the control go.” Arnav spoke, his voice rough as he teased her with his mouth and fingers, increasing the tempo. Khushi closed her eyes with pleasure bursting out of her, caught his head tight and felt herself shatter into pieces and fly high.
Arnav kept on with his ministrations, gentle in his manoeuvre while she slowly came back down to earth and opened her eyes. She breathed deeply, “Arnav” as she felt herself stirring again, the fire re-building.
Arnav came up to her, kissing her and giving her a taste of herself. He kissed her deeply, “Khushi, you drive me crazy. I have never—I can’t control it any longer Khushi.”
“Then don’t… I want to feel you inside me Arnav. Please me, make me reach the skies again.” Khushi said as he pinched her nipples and kissed her. He leaned and picked up one of the packets and tore it open, wearing it as Khushi watched on, kissing him randomly. He caught her under him and said,
“Look at me Khushi. I want you to see me as I enter you. I will try not to hurt you but it may hurt just a little.” Arnav’s brow was furrowed as he focused on himself and her. Slowly he entered her. Khushi felt the pinch and twitched. She gasped with pain as he went in further and stopped to ask, “Are you okay Khushi?”
Khushi nodded and raised her hips once she felt the discomfort give way to heat; the need for complete pleasure. “Yes, oh yes!” and he started moving slowly at first and then steadily increasing the tempo of their love making. She wanted, she ached, she needed—she was a primitive woman again, needing only her man. Her desire overwhelmed her, making her arch against him. She gripped his hips as he moved faster, wishing for him to go deeper.
Soon the world ceased to exist for both of them as they were lost in the rhythm of each other’s bodies. The pinnacle of their glorious love-making saw them both shouting, their release blissful as they clung together, spent in each other’s arms. It was perfect.
Khushi came to with a start as Arnav spoke her name, his brow furrowed with anxiety. She blushed as she realised where she was and what she had been thinking.
“Are you alright? You seemed red just now and now you’re pale. Is everything okay?” Arnav asked, his voice laced with sincere concern as he sat down and placed the tray with their orders on the table. Khushi didn’t know what to say. Was she alright?
“What if I’ve judged him wrong? What if I make a mistake by getting involved with him?”
Thoughts like these ran into Khushi’s mind as she crossed the living room and reached the large glass doors that stood open. Arnav stood there, looking tall and utterly captivating male specimen. She moved towards him, her mind set. Nothing could make her run away now. He turned his head when he heard the footsteps and saw her.
Khushi willed her heart to slow down a bit as he said, his voice husky, “can’t sleep Khushi?”
Khushi couldn’t form a reply, couldn’t find her voice. Instead she shook her head, and then thinking it may be mistaken for something else forced herself to say, “Yes, sleep- eludes me.”
Arnav looked at her, silent. Khushi could feel her pulse throbbing, the vibrations that seem to have come alive between them. Slowly, as if he was scared she would run away, he moved his hand to the strand of hair that was stuck to her cheek. His eyes were pure fire, his voice ultimate invitation as he touched her. Khushi closed her eyes at this contact and opened them again to look into his and draw a breath.
“You look so beautiful in the moonlight Khushi. You mesmerize me.” He said, his gaze dark and thirsty, touching her. Khushi felt goose bumps rise across her skin. No man had ever looked at her like that, had ever touched her with so much hunger..hunger that she was starting to recognise in herself, the ache that increased in her body every time he touched her. She wanted more and yet… she wasn’t sure how she could get it. She knew all about sexual attraction; had known about it before she’d met Arnav but she’d never felt it so strongly before.
It excited her but it also scared her. Would he understand that she- would he know that she was innocent, a virgin yet? Would he realize that she had never been touched like, that she had not given this liberty to anyone yet apart from him? Aranv, who could touch her inner core and make her body melt without even touching her, found her beautiful. A radiant smile broke on her face. She tried to not lose her senses completely.
“You must be suffering from what they call ‘moonlight madness’ and my face must be an illusion created by moonlight magic. I’m not beautiful Arnav and I have no illusions about it.” Khushi knew this to be true. She had long ago acknowledged that she was not as beautiful as those girls he paraded around with.
Now why did this thought have to pop up in her mind at this moment, she thought about it, annoyed with herself. She didn’t want to think about the other women. This was their time together. Private time.
As if he couldn’t help himself, Arnav moved closer, still only touching her cheek. “You are a believer in fairy tales, aren’t you? You believe in magic.” Khushi couldn’t see his face clearly in the dark but she could hear his smile.
“Yes.” She whispered her conviction. At this moment, she could believe magic was made to be for moments like these.
His eyes were shadowed, as if hesitating and trying to control, “Khushi, you should go back to bed honey. I have very little control on myself where you are concerned. I know you don’t understand this but it is very difficult for me to not touch you; to not kiss you.”
Khushi felt the sweet string of tension that surrounded their bodies, the fire that burned them both. She simply looked at him, her eyes wide as if trying to believe such a thing was possible. He groaned, “It is not a good idea for you to come here, stand so close to me honey. Go to your own room now Khushi before I lose control on myself. I promised you I wouldn’t touch you without your permission.”
Khushi mocked him with a smile on her face. Did he really expect her to believe that? She decided to try a little experiment.
“You’re an admirable man that way Arnav Singh Raizada. You do know how to keep your promises.” She took a step that brought her so close to him that their bodies were almost touching, as she whispered, “But I want to be here, with you Arnav.”
And in truth, she realized that she really wanted to be there with him. Against her better judgment, she wanted to be with him, to let him do whatever he wanted to do with her.
Arnav touched the hair in front and pulled a strand of it to bring her closer still. He curled it around his finger, “Don’t play games with me Khushi. This is dangerous. Do you know what you’re doing?”
She was just inches away from his naked chest. She wanted to put her hands on his chest, rest her head on his warm skin. She wanted to touch where his heart was beating, she wanted to feel it, “Yes, I know it is dangerous. I know what I’m doing Arnav.”
Arnav was silent for a minute. Then he moved away a little, thinking what to say to her. “You told me you were not interested in any affair, even rejected my offer of marriage because you think I’m not suitable for you. You told me you find me too controlling and you don’t like guys who are controlling. So why this change?”
Khushi wanted to sound brave but she was just as scared inside. It was true what he’d said. She didn’t like men like him. But somehow, she couldn’t really resist him. She tried to make her voice sound firm, “I’m not going to let you control me Arnav. This is far from that.”
His eyes glinted in the moonlight. “I don’t want to control you Khushi. I would never want you to change from who you are, into what I want. I – all I want at this time is to make love to you. But—“he released the strand of hair that he was holding and it fell back on to her face.
“But what? But you can’t because of the promise you’ve given me?” Khushi asked.
Arnav nodded. Khushi took a deep breath and asked him what she most wanted to know, “Why Arnav? You have the pick of the best looking women in the world. You’re a hard playboy and that is not something only people in London know about. People in Delhi too call you the same. Your type of women is way different from who I am, the way I am. So why?”
Arnav laughed, the sound harsh, “Why? You ask this question Khushi when you’ve seen how foolish I become around you. I act like a teenager who’s just been induced with high hormone levels when I’m around you Khushi. You stir up my fantasies with a single smile, your eyes when they look at me make me burn. You make me want to fly and take you away with me to some place where no one can find us; a place where I can –“ his hand moved to her mouth and his fingers moved around her lips, “—where I can kiss you to kingdom come.”
Poetic and Arnav.. had someone told her that some time back, Khushi would’ve laughed in their faces. But she didn’t feel like laughing right now. She felt the pull of desire, deep down inside of her. A thrill ran through the entire body at his words. He continued, still touching her lips, his fingers moving around her mouth. Her lips parted a bit and his finger went in gently and came out with her hot breath as he whispered, “ I like to watch you eat, to watch you talk. I like the way you enjoy every morsel of food. The way when you eat your chocolate cake; you close your eyes in ecstasy as if you’re eating ambrosia. It makes me want to eat it too.”
“Arnav—“Khushi moaned as his hand moved again, his finger delving into her mouth. She quickly closed her mouth and sucked it in. He took a deep shuddering breath but gently pulled his finger out. Next he placed the same finger on his lips, opened his mouth and pulled it in. Again he took it out and moved it over her lips. Khushi closed her eyes.
Now both his hands cupped her face, his finger travelling to her closed eyes, tracing them, as he continued to speak softly, “I like the way you behave with Anjali Di. You don’t think she’s a nuisance even when she’s being naughty, even when she teases you. I like that you can be charmed easily by simple things. You made friends with my friends, with my household staff. You even made friends with my elderly housekeeper who’s at times a dragon. I don’t know how you do it Khushi but you weave a magic spell around me. I am always thinking of you. I go crazy thinking about you.”
“But-but you’ve been nice and trying to stay away from me.” She knew she sounded petulant but she couldn’t help it. She knew she sounded breathless. Not that that was surprising, since he kept on touching her, barely noticeably nonetheless touching her, setting her nerves on slow fire.
He gave her a crooked smile; the smile that could ensnare many hearts along with that fire filled gaze and dropped his hand away from her face. “It is not easy Khushi. It is not natural for me to be –er- I’m arrogant I know but—it was not natural for me to remain away from you, to not touch you.”
“So why have you- you been keeping your distance? Why don’t you -”
“-because that is what you demanded Khushi. You didn’t want to be touched. I still will not touch you until you permit me.”
It was so simple! Such a simple reply, simple truth put out innocently. She had asked him to keep distance and he had obliged. He had not been domineering, arrogance was all gone. It would have been all too easy for him to do it since he knew she melted every time he came close to her and yet, he’d kept his distance. Khushi’s eyes grew warm and glowed with appreciation.
She whispered, “Maybe I’ve been wrong about you. You’re honourable after all.”
What Arnav did next rooted her on the spot. He took her face gently in his hands, tenderness apparent in his eyes. There was not a trace of a man ready to seduce her, instead she could see a man who was –who cared for her!
“Do you know what you’re doing Khushi? I don’t want to seduce you into anything Khushi. I can wait.”
Khushi rested her cheek on his curved hand, “I know Arnav. But I wish to live in the moment tonight.”
Arnav hesitated, his reluctance apparent in his voice, “Khushi, darling I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t – I can try to be tender but don’t know how to love. I can only make love to you. I see your eyes and I feel-.”
Khushi put her finger on his lips, shutting him up. “I know that you live in the moment Arnav yet you proposed marriage to me. You told me you desire me but don’t love me. I-don’t know how I feel about that but- I see you care for me. That is enough to make you a good man. I know you will protect me.” She wound her hands slowly around his neck, “I know you can wait but—“Khushi blushed and stuttered but continued, “-b-but Arnav, I want us to-“much as she wanted to, Khushi couldn’t complete the sentence.
Instead she did the next best possible thing. She closed her eyes and lifted her mouth to his, whispering his name.
The ride back into town was completed in silence. Arnav was lost in his own thoughts while he rode the scooter while Khushi was with her own musings as she sat behind him. The awkwardness of holding his waist that she had felt in the morning was gone. Now she not only had her hands on his waist but her head rested on his back. She had made her decision after this day spent together.
Arnav didn’t know if he could describe this feeling he was going through. A part of him was anxious, worried and tensed while a part of him was happy, at peace. How could he feel two contradictory emotions at the same time? The sun had set and he had put his aviators back into its box. Soon they would reach where they had started from in the morning and Khushi will tell him what her decision was.
Will she agree to give him a chance and take this further or will she simply shake her head and tell him that this day was all they could have together in the present? His heart and his soul was terrorized by the thought that Khushi may yet decide against giving him another chance to show her how much he loved her. His heart despaired at the thought. What good will be his life if she rejected him? How would he live? There was a time when he had not met Khushi and lived a joyless existence. He couldn’t dream of going back to it. He’d rather face thousand deaths with her than exist in this world alone, without Khushi. And yet.. a part of him insisted that he will have to accept it if that is what Khushi wished him to do. After what he’d said to her, done to her- it may be the only befitting punishment.
When they reached Barista, Khushi’s hands left his waist reluctantly. She moved her head to one side as he leaned back against her. Her involuntary movement brought her lips in contact with his shoulder and she couldn’t resist wanting to kiss it gently. She so much wished she could lean on his strong shoulders for the rest of her life. If her decision was correct, she may yet have that chance to do so, told her an inside voice.
Arnav felt her lips touch gently on his shoulder and shuddered. He was very anxious now. He wasn’t sure if that kiss was a gesture of acceptance of his regret or if it was a good bye kiss. His heart was in his mouth as he looked back at her, with his eyes a clear mirror of his anxiety. He wanted Khushi to know, he didn’t want to hide himself from her anymore.
Khushi looked into his eyes, looking for a single glimpse of that Arnav Singh Raizada who had been vile, who had accused her of horrible things, but she couldn’t find him. Instead all she could see was Arnav that she had fallen in love with, his eyes giving her a clear glimpse of his heart, his soul that spoke of goodness inside.
Khushi took the first step to break the eye contact. She had felt him happy at her touch the whole day through and she had also felt him shudder when her lips had touched his shoulder. She was aware now that love needed this physical touch to complete itself into one being. She couldn’t deny it. She couldn’t ignore this feeling by calling it lust and not love. She moved away from him and got down the scooter.
Arnav looked at her as she moved away from him and got down. His heart was beating a tattoo in his chest. What was she going to do? Arnav Singh Raizada was, perhaps the first time in his life helpless and had no control over the situation with regards to the fate of his life.
Khushi came up to the front of the scooter and said, “Shall we sit inside Arnav? I wish to drink something cool after a long ride.”
Together they went inside and Arnav went up to the counter to order. Khushi looked at him and sighed. She couldn’t not give Arnav a second chance.
His eyes spoke of the history of love in his life since beginning – the lost little boy searching for love that he had never found in his mother, the youth who had to grow up before his age, knowing his Anjali Di relied on his strong support since the day they had found out bitter truth about their parentage, the man who before he became successful had been hurt by women in his life and the man who hid himself from every eye, the one who had stopped looking for love in the world and become ruthless for the sake of his sanity.
She remembered well that weekend in Goa when they had spent the weekend together. They had fought and their fight had escalated to a level where Khushi had spent her entire day away from him. He had been worried out of his mind for her and in the late evening when she had come back, she had found him not angry but sick with worry. He had spent the entire day looking for her, even going to the hospitals to find out if she’d done something drastic. He had not shouted at her then. He had explained his reasons for being so aggressive and distrustful. He was a bastard and Anjali was only his half-sister. They shared their mother by blood but no one knew who his blood father was.
She remembered their dialogue. He had difficulty apologizing then and had come about with an explanation in a roundabout manner. His explanation had stunned Khushi. He had needed a strong shot of whiskey before he began with his explanation.
I may have been a bit out of line with the way I behaved today morning Khushi. With the –“ he paused as if thinking how to continue or even if he should.Then as if he couldn’t help himself, he continued, “-with the way I’ve been brought up and what I’ve seen of the world, I’ve always come across women who are ready to take advantage of men at the drop of the hat.”
“Excuse me? And that gives you the reason to generalize? You said some unforgivable things to me today Arnav. What if someone behaved like this with your own sister or your mother? Would you have forgiven them?” Khushi retorted with question of her own.
Frankly speaking, she had been taken aback by this turn of conversation. When he said he wasn’t going to apologize for his behaviour, she had been outraged and left the house. She had walked around for a long time on the beach and even gone to the church to calm her raging soul. Never in her life had she imagined that his explanation for what he had said to her in the morning would be something related to his past experiences!
“Anjali di.. you’ve met her. She already has a steady boyfriend and truthfully speaking, she would think about it carefully with her head and her heart before she ever said yes to a guy. My mother-she was one of those women I despise today. She thought she could use her wealth, her fool of a husband’s wealth to trap the man who sired me. Told herself she was in love and was taking the right path to a better life. “
A look of such hatred crossed his features that Khushi could only gape at him. He hated his mother and thought she was– but why?
“I am a bastard Khushi. My mother was married to the man I am honoured to call father but he was not my blood father. I was adopted by him as his son and he loved me as much as he would his own. We don’t even know until some time back who my blood father was. What I found out simply increased my disgust for my mother and her deeds. The man was a married guy who used to come to London for business trips. She says she fell in love with him and in his trap. The truth was my mother had lured him many times with money and the fool she was, she never realized that is all he wanted from her. She cheated on my father again and again with that-that man.
Nani had come to England to take care of Anjali Di as my mother was incapable of taking care of her. Hell, she was incapable of thinking about anyone else but herself! When the family name started getting smirched due to her affair coming out to open in public, my father banished her to the family mansion in the countryside. Nani went along with her to ensure she may behave herself. That was when they found out about me. Father had already divorced her by then.
Apparently, unbeknown to nani and my father, she had kept in touch with the guy, pleading him to come back and marry her. He kept on promising marriage.” A look of utter disgust had crossed his face, “I was the result of one of those meetings Khushi. My father adopted me, gave me his name and declared me his heir when I was born but disowned her from his property. He took me away from my mother then since she had gone berserk from anger. Once that news reached the guy, he wanted nothing more to do with her. His golden chicken was dead and he wanted to wash his hands off her. She died soon after, in a car accident. She was broken hearted and depressed when she drove that car. “
Khushi didn’t dare interrupt him. She stayed quiet to hear him out. It looked as if he hadn’t finished. Her heart had bled for the little Arnav who had been told the truth when he was able to understand it. His voice held no emotion; it was as if he was simply talking about weather. But now, admiration crept into his voice.
“I will always be grateful to my father for everything he did for me. I may have not been his sired son but he didn’t consider me any less and for that I guess, I am grateful. He gave me his name, and raised us single-handedly. He was not a very affectionate man but he was kind. I will always admire and respect him for that. But he was bitter. He never married again. He had loved my mother and she had broken his heart again and again until it was irreparable.
He sent us to the best boarding schools and visited us often. He loved me in his own way I guess and taught me good things. My father taught me to stand on my two feet and become successful by my own intelligence and my own means. I borrowed money for the capital of my first business and paid him back in full when I succeeded.
One thing he taught me very early on was to be aware of gold diggers and opportunists. Rich men or rich women were always prone to emotional attacks if they weren’t careful. That was a lesson well learnt by me Khushi early on, right after my first infatuation left me for a rich man because I had refused to inherit my father’s money.
I learnt the lesson early on that my father was right when he’d said women are like leeches. Most women that I’ve met fall under the same category. When one is as rich as I am, women fall over themselves to come into contact of any kind and will do anything to make sure they get something out of it. Over the years, I found most women simply wanted money. Some were over ambitious and wanted the Raizada name for what it could bring to them. I found my father was right.
The only woman who ever loved me for myself was my Anjali Di. I received all the love I could get from her in my childhood. She cared for me when there was no one else. So you’ve got to understand Khushi, I’m not –“
He had not been given a chance to complete as Khushi had rained kisses on his face, crying for the little boy he’d lost somewhere inside him and conversation had ceased with the understanding that she had forgiven him. Passion had reined them.
Today he had laid bare his need for her forgiveness and love; she could vulnerability, his fear of losing her forever. He was not perfect, yes. He had made mistakes, yes. He had hurt her, used her and had only physically desired her. But just like those facts was also the fact that he had admitted his guilt and regretted his actions bitterly. He was ready to love and he needed someone who could hold his hand and let himself be loved. How could she not love him after looking at the purity of intentions in his eyes? Her answer was ready and on her lips to be uttered when he came back.